Is Your Husband Depressed?

IMG_2011

Archibald Hart, a leading Christian expert on male depression, says, “When a sexual outlet is denied, and by this I mean a reduced frequency of orgasm, such males become irritable and aggressive and develop a set of behaviors that can best be described as ‘sulking’ or ‘moodiness’. This unique form of depression sets in fairly quickly whenever sexual activity diminishes.”1

Dr. Hart explains, in another article, why Christian men intentionally avoid intimacy and thereby, ironically, bring on their own depression.

Good men have difficulty differentiating between ordinary, healthy sexuality and what is abnormal. Many men fear that just because they have a strong sex drive they are in some way deviant. “I must be something of a freak” a pretty normal pastor told me once. Some even fear that they may be “perverted” or addicted to some sexual aberration.

Men with strong sex drives can easily develop a pervasive sense of shame and self-rejection, even though a strong drive, in and of itself, is NOT abnormal. (Archibald D. Hart, Ph.D., FPPR., Senior Professor of Psychology and Dean Emeritus Graduate School of Psychology, Fuller Theological Seminary)2

The Bible is clear that the primary way to successfully control sexual urges is in a healthy marriage with frequent and reciprocal sex. A biblical marriage goes a long way in mitigating “testosterone induced depression” (Dr. Hart’s term) in Christian men.

Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love. (Proverb 5:18,19 ESV)

Our book, Radical, addresses the topics of frequency and reciprocity in a Christian marriage from the Bible. We’re not telling you this to sell books but to help marriages and relieve your husband’s depression. Granted, there are many forms of depression but this is one that has a practical remedy.

The opposite of depression is delight.

Delight yourself in the Lord first and then delight in the wife or husband of your youth. God’s Word is so practical.

Blessings, René and Gloria

Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter
Listen to latest podcast
Get a copy of our book, Radical
Get a copy of our book, 40 Day Devotional

More articles

“Amen!”
Marriage Made Simple

  1. Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship & Life Together; Mark and Grace Driscoll; p 163 quoting Archibald Hart.
  2. http://www.ncachurch.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Sexuality_pornography_christians.pdf

Marriage Made Simple

IMG_1906A successful marriage is all about unity. Peace is about unity. Love is about unity. Unity more often than not leads to fruitfulness and success in the corporate world, politics, sports, and marriage. It’s not unity at all costs but seek unity with others as best you can.

The Super Bowl is today and the team that works together, in all phases of the game – offense, defense and special teams – will most likely win. The Patriots are probably the best example of a team united for a single purpose – winning. I am writing this just before the big game so I don’t know the outcome but I’m not going to bet against the Patriots.

There are three areas of unity in a marriage that give a couple a chance at longterm success.

  1. Unity of vision and purpose. This is sharing core values, and as Christians, having Jesus and his glory front and center in your marriage. This also speaks to moving in the same direction in spousal roles, parenting, finances, and careers.
  2. Emotional unity and maturity. Maturity is key but it takes some time to get there! In the meantime, practice giving thanks in all things, praying without ceasing, and forgiving one another quickly and thoroughly that you may grow together in love.
  3. Physical unity. Sex is the antidote to failure in the first two areas of unity; that is, when we aren’t on the same page and when our anger and disappointment get the better of us, then it smooths out the rough areas with physical unity. Sex is like hitting the reset button on your computer. It clears the cache and memory and then all the processes have room to flourish.

Marriage is simple but not easy.

The evil one hates unity and will undermine unity in a marriage every chance he gets. Conflict is the currency of darkness and unity is the currency of the Kingdom. Fight for unity in your marriage because you will have opposition. Fight the good fight of faith for you marriage. Stay united in all areas.

Blessings, René and Gloria

Like on Facebook
Like on Twitter
Listen to latest podcast
Get a copy of our book, Radical
Get a copy of our book, 40 Day Devotional
Write a review on Amazon

More articles

“Amen!”
No Shortcuts
Mr & Mrs Generous

Blest Be the Tie that Binds

Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love (From classic hymn)

We believe that Jesus is preparing his church for the coming trials. The next trial could be the Big One or there could be a series of warmup trials. One of the things he is doing today is strengthening marriages.

It makes sense. Only healthy marriages survive in times of real trouble and the church desperately needs healthy marriages. (We can hear all the pastors sighing, “Amen”.)

What are we going to need the most in the coming trials? We need support, encouragement, and love. Who is going to love and encourage us? Our spouse first and foremost.

The time is right to strengthen our marriages. Jesus is for strong marriages (“What God has joined together, let no man…”) and he seems to be focusing his spotlight on marriage in these Days.

The best way to strengthen your marriage is to increase intimacy through commitment, conversation, and physical intimacy or, in other words, a biblical “one flesh” marriage.

If we’re going to overcome trials that will surely come, including the The Big One, we will have to strengthen the ties that bind us. Marriage binds us like nothing else. Two cords intertwined are stronger than one left dangling alone.

Let’s start building more intimacy in our marriages and strengthen the tie that binds.

Like ‘Blest Be’ on Facebook
Like on Twitter
Listen to latest podcast
Get a copy of our book, Radical
Get a copy of our book, 40 Day Devotional
Write a review on Amazon

More articles

“Amen!”
No Shortcuts
Mr & Mrs Generous