How to Be Sex-Positive

How to Be Sex-Positive

The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s.
She
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
(Song of Solomon 1:1,2a ESV)

Song of Songs is Sex-Positive

The Song of Songs is a love poem extolling the joy of sexual intimacy in marriage. God wants us to consider it as a picture of an ideal marriage. It is no accident God included this curious book in his canon of Scripture.

We call it curious because many Christian don’t want to think about sex, let alone talk about it. God has other ideas and let’s us know by putting a book all about sexual intimacy in his Word. The reality is that Satan wants us to think about sex in his terms of depravity and vulgarity.

The culture of the Middle East at the time of the writing of the Song of Songs was sex-positive. God wants us to think about sex his way as the glorious center of a covenant marriage.

Sex Gets a Bad Rep

Sex started to get a bad reputation at the beginning of the church age. A few early church fathers went so far as to castrate themselves in the name of holiness. This was the beginning of a love-hate affair with sex in the Christian community.

Satan has taken advantage of fanatical Christian sexual ideology ever since. It’s not a coincidence that the number one most vulgar word in our culture is a description of the sex act. Satan, the god of this world, wants anything God holds in esteem to be denigrated. Sexual intimacy is no exception; in fact, the devil majors on polluting what God has declared as “very good”.

It’s also no coincidence that the second most used profanity in our culture is our Savior’s name. It’s almost as if Satan says, “Yes, one day every knee will bend to the name of Jesus, but in the meantime it will be a curse word.” The two most used profanities concern sexual intimacy and our Lord’s name. No surprises from the god of this world.

It should tell us something about Satan’s strategies to pollute our sexual intimacy in marriage and our spiritual intimacy in Christ.

Taking a Stand

So when we are, at best, ambiguous about sexual intimacy; and, at worse, repulsed by sexual intimacy then we are aligning ourselves with the devil’s doctrines of polluted sex. It’s only when we think correctly about married sex will we be able to do married sex as God intended.

The Song of Songs is sex-positive because God is sex-positive. It’s time we take back the territory that Satan has stolen from us for 2,000 years. Married sex is God’s idea and he thinks it’s a good one.

Bible Thought: God’s Word celebrates sex in a committed covenant marriage.

Prayer: Father, help me be sex-positive as God is sex-positive and stand against the cultural lies of the evil one. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Join our Facebook Group Page for our Weekend Bonus Posts, updates, discussion, book excerpts, surveys, and more.

Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

Marriage: God’s Boot Camp

38844163 - vector peerless decorative feather, tribal design, tattooMarriage: God’s Boot Camp

The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s. (Song of Solomon 1:1 ESV)

Celebration of Sexual Love God Intended for Marriage

We’re going to tackle The Song of Solomon for a while since it celebrates sexual love between a husband and wife. It also is a picture of Christ and his church echoing Ephesians 5:31,32. These are not contradictory because God himself chooses to compare marital love with Christ’s love.

In our church culture, we often separate the physical and spiritual lifting the spiritual above the physical. God wants us to be comfortable with both the spiritual and physical realities of his creation and see them the way he sees them. To this end, he gives us The Song of Solomon as his picture of ideal married love.

If he wanted only a spiritual universe occupied by spiritual beings then he had that with the angels before Creation. But he wanted something physical, lavish, and sensual so he created the earth with Adam and Eve at the center, declaring them “one flesh” in marriage.

The Best of the Best

The author starts with the words, “Song of Songs” in verse 1. It’s like saying “the best of the best”. The writer is declaring that this song is the highest song of all songs, there is no higher or more important song in all the world. Of course, the songs, we know as The Psalms, are higher in the sense that they praise the living God who is above all and Almighty.

Our author is not contradicting God’s supreme position, he is simply saying that the sexual relationship God intended between a husband and wife is the highest, most glorious, relationship in all of God’s creation outside of our relationship with God himself.

Love One Another

Jesus says, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35 NIV) Jesus tells us, on more than one occasion, that love is the goal of the Christian life. We can know the Bible, prophesy, perform signs and wonders, but only love counts in the end. Love is the Fruit of the Spirit and flows from a close personal relationship with Christ.

If we can’t love our spouse then how can we love anyone else? In fact, marriage is God’s boot camp for learning how to love another person. Let’s start with a sincere, gospel-centered, God-honoring love of our spouse and then we will know how to love others.

The Song of Solomon shows us exactly what a gospel-centered marriage looks like with mutual sexual submission at it’s core. We are excited about all the things The Song of Solomon will teach us. Love is good place to start.

Bible Thought: Marriage is God’s Boot Camp of love.

Prayer: Father, help me to learn how to love my spouse so I can be used by you to show love to the rest of the world. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Join our Facebook Group Page for our Weekend Bonus Posts, updates, discussion, book excerpts, surveys, and more.

Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

Life is Short

Butterfly

Life is Short

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. (James 4:14 NIV)

Most people at the end of their life don’t say that they should have worked more, traveled less, or made love fewer times.

Life is short and God wants us to major on the major and minor the minor and not get distracted from what’s really important. We get messed up and our thinking gets skewed as we go merrily along in life. As we learned in our last post, Satan’s task is to get us off course and confuse us about what is really important.

The entire Bible is about getting our priorities straight when you really think about it. Every time we take up the Word the Holy Spirit is trying to break through our prejudices and preconceptions about life. He is trying to shock us into reality. He says, “Hey, wake up! The Word is true. Stop doing what your doing. Do life God’s way because he loves you and knows what’s best for you.”

“Wake up, sleeper,

rise from the dead,

and Christ will shine on you.” (Ephesians 5:14)

What does it mean to “Wake up, rise from the dead”? It means that we should see the world through the eyes of the Word and then respond appropriately. When we “wake up” to the instruction of the Holy Spirit then Christ will shine on us. It seems to us that’s a good thing.

In marriage, Christ’s light shining on us produces love and intimacy reflecting his love and intimacy for his people. It is to see our spouse as our most important relationship outside of Christ. It’s to work at our relationship with humility, forgiveness, and hope.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery but I am talking about Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31,32)

When we get to the end to our life, we will not say we made love too many times with our spouse. Don’t let the locust eat up the years of your youth with unimportant stuff. It took us many years to discover God’s truth about intimacy in marriage.

The purpose of our book and blog is to help you discover this truth a lot sooner than we did. May Christ’s light shine on you and your marriage.

Bible Thought: Marriage is important to God because it is the essential building block of society and a truly biblical marriage reflects Christ’s intimacy with his people.

Prayer: Father, help me to live my life to the fullest according to your Word. Help me love and respect my spouse. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Join our Facebook Group Page for our Weekend Bonus Posts, updates, discussion, book excerpts, surveys, and more.

Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

Satan’s Wish List

Satan’s Wish List

Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV emphasis added)

Satan is Alive and Well Despite Rumors to the Contrary

Sometimes it seems no one believes in the devil anymore. He has become a cartoon character. Jesus talked a lot about Satan, so we’re going with Jesus on this one.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (Matthew 6:13 NIV)

Satan Does Not Want You to Have Sex with Your Spouse

In marriage, the number one goal of Satan is to keep husbands and wives from having sex. We’re not saying this, Paul is saying this. God’s Word tells us clearly in our passage that Satan looks forward to you not having sex with your spouse. In fact, he loves it when you have infrequent and non-reciprocal sex because he knows you are then ripe for sexual sin.

Satan will do anything he can to keep you from having sex so that you will lose “self-control”. He loves it when you are out of control sexually. He looks for opportunities to strike when he senses your sexual and emotional needs are not being met. This can lead to physical or emotional affairs with someone other than your spouse.

Satan Will Distract You from Sex in Three Ways

  1. Circumstances – He will encourage a lifestyle that is so crammed with places to go and things to do that there’s just no time for sex.
  2. Distraction – He will tell you that everything is more important than sex. If you think sex is the next thing on the agenda then he will introduce an urgent need to distract you.
  3. Deception – He will try to convince you that frequent sex with your spouse is excessive sensuality and that you need to stuff it to show “real” self-control. He will also try to convince your spouse that sex with you is the last thing they want or need.

God’s Word, on the other hand, tells us that frequent and reciprocal sex is the way to counter Satan’s temptations. Paul reminds us that sex is one of Satan’s favorite temptations. We would say that it’s in the top 3 right after pride and power although an argument could be made for it being number one on Satan’s list in marriages.

Counterattack

How do we fight back against the attacks of the evil one? First, “do not deprive one another” in other words just do it. Second, realize your life is busy so you need to make room for sex. Thirdly, do not be unaware of Satan’s schemes to thwart sex. And finally, stand against the lies of the devil by reading and re-reading God’s Word especially 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 and The Song of Solomon.

Fight for your right to have sex, resist the devil, and he will flee. Don’t be taken in by the lies of the evil one who is prowling about like a lion seeking whom he may devour with sexual temptation.

Bible Thought: Satan loves it when you don’t have frequent and reciprocal sex with your spouse.

Prayer: Father, help me be aware of Satan’s attempts to deceive me and fill my mind with lies. Help me to stand on your Word of Truth about married sex. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Join our Facebook Group Page for our Weekend Bonus Posts, updates, discussion, book excerpts, surveys, and more.

Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

Get Uncomfortable

And I will lead the blind

in a way that they do not know,

in paths that they have not known

I will guide them.

I will turn the darkness before them into light,

the rough places into level ground.

These are the things I do,

and I do not forsake them. (Isaiah 42:16 ESV)

Cultural and Religious Preconceptions Limit Us

Technology is daunting when we first encounter it. Perhaps you had to learn a new software program for your job. We remember our companies preparing us for months in advance for new software. Everyone was in a panic but once it rolled out, and we got used to it, we never gave it a second thought.

Changing our sexual habits is daunting. We’ve grown accustomed to our sexual patterns like an old pair of slippers. It’s safe and comfortable. We have unspoken rules about sex, frequency and reciprocity, in our marriage. So when we understand God’s Word has specific directives for married sex, we tend to deny or ignore them. We fall back on our cultural and religious preconceptions about married sex.

A Disciple of Jesus Expects & Embraces Change

However, being a disciple of Jesus, we know, requires constant reassessment of our habits and patterns. Jesus always calls us out of our comfort zones and into uncomfortable places such as witnessing to our neighbors, feeding the hungry at the homeless shelter, or giving up a long time habit. It’s the same with our marriage and especially our sex lives.

When we understand God’s Word and realize we have to change, it takes us by surprise. But as a disciple we desire to do life God’s way and know there’s always good in obedience. “Whoever gives thought to the word will discover good, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord.” (Proverbs 16:20) We want to have a marriage that reflects the Word even if it’s uncomfortable.

Changing our sexual habits can be uncomfortable for many reasons but we are called to overcome all obstacles and get out of our comfort zones. There is a cost to following Jesus and marriage God’s way is no exception. Jesus calls us to a place of humility, surrender, and love in marriage and that means frequent and reciprocal sex. (See The Principles of Marriage ESV)

Principles of Marriage

God wants us to understand the Principles of Marriage and practice them regularly. It requires us to get out of our comfort zones and into God’s place of obedience. The good news is that he will guide us and “turn the darkness before (us) into light, the rough places into level ground.” The Holy Spirit will comfort us when we get uncomfortable in the places he sends us. Trust him.

Bible Thought: God wants us to get uncomfortable for our good and his glory.

Prayer: Father, help me to get out of my usual areas of comfort. Help me to put my spouse first even when it’s uncomfortable. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Join our Facebook Group Page for our Weekend Bonus Posts, updates, discussion, book excerpts, surveys, and more.

Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

Pay Attention

BlFeatherI am my beloved’s,

and his desire is for me.

(Song of Solomon 7:10 ESV)

God is a Jealous God

God is a jealous God and wants our attention. He doesn’t demand our attention although he is the only one worthy of all our attention. He is altogether lovely, his excellencies are unlimited, his beauty is fathomless, and he is the only one worthy of all honor and praise.

We have free will so he doesn’t demand our attention but it would do us well to give him the attention he deserves. It is for our benefit; after all, he doesn’t need our attention but knows it is the best thing we can do for ourselves.

God notices when we give him attention in worship, prayer, and communion. Our attention turns to affection as we see him for who he is even in our limited capacity to comprehended infinite love.

Your Spouse is a Jealous Spouse

Your spouse has every right to be jealous of anything you value more than them in this world. When you got married, you promised your spouse that they would be the most important thing in your life, to cherish and nourish ’till death do you part.

Pauls tells husbands, after giving God the attention he deserves, the best thing you can do for yourself is give your wife your full attention and affection. After all, you pamper yourself, so pamper your wife! It’s actually the same thing.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28,29)

When a husband’s attention is divided, his wife will feel less valued than whatever gets most of his attention. Most of us have jobs to go to, activities we enjoy, and duties to perform but your wife should feel she is the greatest treasure in your life.

Likewise the wife should make her husband feel he is the most important person besides Christ in her life. When this full attention is flowing both ways then you have the beginnings of a solid, biblical marriage. Give one another the attention they deserve and promised when you got married. Divided attention, divides marriages.

His Desire is for Me

Our Song of Solomon passage paints the picture of a satisfied wife, one who knows that her husband desires her more than anything in this world. “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.”

She is confident in his undivided attention and responds with frequent and reciprocal sex as we see throughout the book of Song of Solomon.

Of course, the principles are the same for the wife. Anything that draws your main attention away from your husband leaves your husband feeling disrespected, devalued.

Sex is the One Constant, Everything Else is Variable

We understand that there are ups an downs in marriage and that attention to your spouse, and from your spouse, waxes and wanes depending on the season of life or circumstances. However, there is one constant in a marriage and everything else is variable. Houses, jobs, friends, hobbies, health, memory, and everything else come and go but sexual intimacy should not come and go. It should be the anchor, the one constant, that steadies the storms of life in your marriage.

Sexual intimacy is the one constant in marriage and, ultimately, the barometer of attention and affection.

Bible Thought: Jesus is our spiritual Anchor. Sexual intimacy is our marital anchor.

Prayer: Father, help me to value, respect and put my spouse first after you. Amen.

Join our Facebook Group Page for our Weekend Bonus Posts, updates, discussion, book excerpts, surveys, and more.

Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

Have Sex to Forget about Sex

26470436 - peerless decorative feather  vectorHave Sex to Forget about Sex

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. (Colossians 3:5 ESV)

God is a Jealous God

John Piper says that idolatry today is not usually worshipping a carved image but rather it is an activity of the human heart. It’s essentially craving something more than God. Anything, but more often than not, usually some comfort like food, wine, exercise, recognition, or sex.

One way we can know we have an idol is by examining our thoughts. What do we think about the most? What do we want the most? If it’s anything more than God’s grace, it could be an idol. God is a jealous God and wants our attention.

Comfort Calls Our Name

Comfort permeates the Colossians passage above, “Sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness”. Sex certainly comes to mind when we read this passage but it could be anything from craving the best garden in the neighborhood to lusting after a pepperoni pizza night after night.

Human beings, men and women, have a lust problem. Lust is an inordinate craving. It could be sex or food, and the lusting can come and go, but usually there’s a pattern of obsession in us that repeats itself over and over.

Sex quickly becomes an idol if we haven’t had sex in a while and there is no prospect for sex in the near future

Our passage says clearly that sexual immorality is idolatry. Paul tells us to “put it to death”.

How do we “put to death” sexual immorality? God’s Word in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 tells us the only way to put to death sexual immorality – get married.

Sex quickly becomes an idol if we haven’t had sex in a while and there is no prospect for sex in the near future. God created us with a very strong sex drive, men and women, and he has made a provision to overcome our strong sex drive. He doesn’t leave us on our own. He provides a way. The way is a sex-soaked marriage.

When we have had sex recently and know we will have sex soon then sexual tension dissipates and sex is then less likely to become an idol.

Have Sex to Forget about Sex

Frequent and reciprocal sex with your spouse puts sex in it’s proper place in our life.

If our sexual desires are fulfilled, we won’t be constantly thinking about it. God tells us to have sex frequently so we won’t be overcome and lose self-control. (See 1 Corinthians 7:5)

Have sex to forget about sex so that you can move on with the rest of your life. A sex-soaked marriage is the only antidote for sexual idolatry. It’s only when we don’t have enough sex do we make it an idol.

Bible Thought: Sex becomes an idol when we don’t have frequent and reciprocal sex with our spouse.

Prayer: Father, help me from making sex an idol. Show me the many benefits of sex with my spouse including staying away from idolatry. Amen.

Join our Facebook Group Page for our Weekend Bonus Posts, updates, discussion, book excerpts, surveys, and more.

Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

There’s More to Life than Sex!

The Bible Sex DevotionalYou shall not commit adultery. (Exodus 20:14)

You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. (Exodus 20:17)

Abstain from … sexual immorality. (Acts 15:29)

You tolerate that woman Jezebel. (Revelation 2:20)

I know a lot of you want to know what the Bible says about sex and that’s why you read our devotional. Good for you and thank you!

You may also be thinking that there’s more to life than sex!

Why do you obsess over sex? You seem to be giving it a bigger place than it deserves. After all, sex is just one of many elements of life.

Good point. Let’s take a look at what God thinks.

Three Significant Epochs in the Story of God

God gives his people specific instructions in Scriptures. He doesn’t want to leave any room for doubt. There are three important sets of instructions at significant points in the story of his people: The Law, The New Covenant, and The Last Days.

The first set of instructions is the famous one, The Ten Commandments, given at the beginning of The Law for the Jews. The second set of instructions is at the beginning of the church for Gentiles at the Council at Jerusalem. The third set of instructions is given to the seven churches at the beginning of Revelation that outlines the Last Days.

Sex is a big part of each set of instructions. If God makes a big deal out of sex who are we to argue otherwise?

The Math

Not convinced? Let’s to the math together.

Two of the Ten Commandments concern sex. If you eliminate the four vertical commandments (our relationship with God), you’re left with two of the six horizontal commandments (our relationship with each other) addressing sex. 33% of God’s instructions in the Ten Commandments is about sex: “You shall not commit adultery” and “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.” (Exodus 20:14,17 ESV)

The Council at Jerusalem seemed confused that God would allow Gentiles into the Kingdom but once they got over their initial shock they issued four instructions to the new gentile believers: “That you abstain from what has been sacrificed to idols, and from blood, and from what has been strangled, and from sexual immorality.” (Acts 15:29) We could lump the first three together as “eating rules” and then sexual immorality as as separate category making it 50% of the instructions.

The third set is the instructions to the seven churches in Revelation. Two of the seven churches, Pergamum and Thyatira, are chastised for allowing sexual immorality in their midst. The math calculates to 28%.

God’s Big Three set of instructions include anywhere from 25% to 50% of instructions to avoid sexual immorality. On average, nearly a third of God’s instructions concern overcoming sexual sin. God thinks sex is a very big part of life any way you do the math.

And what is God’s only solution to sexual immorality? Well, we took a look at that in a previous post. The short answer is get married and have frequent, reciprocal sex with your spouse!

Bible Thought: God thinks sex is big deal and so should we.

Prayer: Father, you created sex. Help me to put it in proper perspective for my good and your glory. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Join our Facebook Group Page for our Weekend Bonus Posts, updates, discussion, book excerpts, surveys, and more.

Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

Loving the Unlovable Lover

Loving the Unlovable Lover

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.  (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a ESV)

Part 3: CHARACTER – Immaturity embraces wrong thinking (Part 3 of a 3 part series, “3 Enemies of Sex” )

There are 3 Enemies of Sex

The first enemy is absorbing any negative cultural influences that undermine sex. The second is picking up sex-killing religious attitudes from the church. And the third is spiritual and emotional immaturity of either spouse.

Any one of these can kill sex in the best of marriages, and if one or the other spouse, or both, have all three then the end is near. However, we all entered marriage relatively immature, emotionally and spiritually, especially if we married young. There is hope.

God wants us to mature in Christ, discern the negative influences of the culture, and have a sex-positive, non-religious attitude toward sex. This is not done overnight. It takes time and patience but it is possible with God.

The Joy of Growing Old Together

The joy of growing old together is growing in maturity with God and with each other. As we mature, sex improves with our increased maturity. However, some of us never grow up and this is hard on our spouse. We have the choice to grow or not. We are not robots. God gave us free will. Choose to grow.

The Immature Lover

What does an immature lover look like? Well, they exhibit the opposite of the loving attributes in our passage today. An immature lover is impatient, insists on their own way, gives up when the going gets tough, and is often irritable and resentful about sex.

It’s hard to have sex with this person. However, we were this person at one time – or some iteration of them. Maturity is growing, not arriving so be slow to point a finger.

The Mature Lover

What does a mature lover look like? Everything on our list plus the capacity to love the immature lover. This capacity to love the unlovable lover comes from outside ourselves. The Fruit of the Spirit, love, is a by-product of growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ. (See 2 Peter 3:18))

If you married an immature person, and we were all somewhere on the spectrum of immaturity when we married, don’t withhold sex because they are immature but pray for their maturity.

Also, treat your spouse as if they were mature; that is, extend grace to your unlovable lover just as Christ extends grace to us every day, a sinner in need of grace not condemnation.

We have sex with the unlovable lover primarily because we promised to have sex with them the day we got married. A mature person understands the covenant commitment of marriage and their conjugal responsibilities.

What’s love got to do with it? Everything.

Bible Thought: Maturity is extending grace and withholding condemnation.

Prayer: Father, help me to pick up my conjugal responsibilities and lay down any resentment or bitterness toward my spouse. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Join our Facebook Group Page for our Weekend Bonus Posts, updates, discussion, book excerpts, surveys, and more.

Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

The Last Taboo

14417183 - art tree beautiful for your design

Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Romans 12:2 MSG)

Part 2: CHURCH – Sexual Restraint and the Modesty Movement (Part 2 of a 3 part series, “3 Enemies of Sex” )

The Last Taboo

The Last Taboo of the church is sex. We’ve overcome a lot of religion over the years but the denial, obfuscation, and misunderstanding of sex in the church continues. Our book and blog are for the sole purpose of bringing sex out from under the bushel of religion and into the glorious light of the gospel.

Christian Sub-Culture

Christian gnosticism (aka docetism) exalts the spiritual over the physical. This dangerous Christian sub-culture teaches sexual restraint for men and pious modesty for women as the way of holiness in marriage. God thinks differently. Lots of sex with our spouse contributes to our holiness not self restraint. (See “Sex & Sanctification”)

Paul says, “Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking.” This includes the Christian gnostic sub-culture that represses married sex.

Sex, sex, sex, there we’ve said it 3 times and we’re still alive! God did not cringe at our repetition. God is for married sex. He loves sex. God created sex and thinks it’s pretty cool. God uses it to describe the intimacy between Christ and his church. He even declared it, as part of his creation, “Very Good”. (See Genesis 1:31 ESV)

Modesty

The Christian idea of modesty, in the name of saving our lustful brothers in Christ from falling into sexual sin, has taken a left turn. In fact, it is way off the tracks mainly because of a holier-than-thou peer pressure from the church ladies’ fashion brigade. This is nothing less than religion; that is, trying to impress God with our “holiness”. God is not impressed.

Women in church have to fall in line. (Gloria was once accused in church of wearing “hooker shoes”. Seriously.) Let’s let women show their individuality and creativity and not be pressured into drab, gender neutral, uniforms.

Incredibly, Christian modesty promotes the cultural trend of gender neutrality that we looked at in our last post. We have taken on the uniform of sexual sameness in the name of “holiness”. Asexuality is not holy.

There are two problems with excessive modesty. The first is the false idea that we are helping our brothers in Christ avoid sexual sin. This is, at best, false optimism and, at worse, spiritual pride. Immature men will fall no matter what you wear.

The second, and most insidious problem, is when modesty becomes a way of life, when our identity is tied to it. Wrong thinking about modesty will lead to a denial of sensuality if we’re not careful.

Be modest, of course, but be careful that it’s not an excuse to avoid sensuality. It’s hard to shift gears from a pious, modest, asexual Christian in church to an enthusiastic, reciprocal sex partner in the bedroom. God calls us to the latter.

Bible Thought: Religion tries to impress God with sexual restraint in marriage and excessive modesty. God is not impressed.

Prayer: Father, help me to realize that my righteousness is in Christ and that you have made me a sexual creature with legitimate needs and desires. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Join our Facebook Group Page for our Weekend Bonus Posts, updates, discussion, book excerpts, surveys, and more.

Just do it,

Rene & Gloria