There’s More to Life than Sex!

The Bible Sex DevotionalYou shall not commit adultery. (Exodus 20:14)

You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. (Exodus 20:17)

Abstain from … sexual immorality. (Acts 15:29)

You tolerate that woman Jezebel. (Revelation 2:20)

I know a lot of you want to know what the Bible says about sex and that’s why you read our devotional. Good for you and thank you!

You may also be thinking that there’s more to life than sex!

Why do you obsess over sex? You seem to be giving it a bigger place than it deserves. After all, sex is just one of many elements of life.

Good point. Let’s take a look at what God thinks.

Three Significant Epochs in the Story of God

God gives his people specific instructions in Scriptures. He doesn’t want to leave any room for doubt. There are three important sets of instructions at significant points in the story of his people: The Law, The New Covenant, and The Last Days.

The first set of instructions is the famous one, The Ten Commandments, given at the beginning of The Law for the Jews. The second set of instructions is at the beginning of the church for Gentiles at the Council at Jerusalem. The third set of instructions is given to the seven churches at the beginning of Revelation that outlines the Last Days.

Sex is a big part of each set of instructions. If God makes a big deal out of sex who are we to argue otherwise?

The Math

Not convinced? Let’s to the math together.

Two of the Ten Commandments concern sex. If you eliminate the four vertical commandments (our relationship with God), you’re left with two of the six horizontal commandments (our relationship with each other) addressing sex. 33% of God’s instructions in the Ten Commandments is about sex: “You shall not commit adultery” and “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife.” (Exodus 20:14,17 ESV)

The Council at Jerusalem seemed confused that God would allow Gentiles into the Kingdom but once they got over their initial shock they issued four instructions to the new gentile believers: “That you abstain from what has been sacrificed to idols, and from blood, and from what has been strangled, and from sexual immorality.” (Acts 15:29) We could lump the first three together as “eating rules” and then sexual immorality as as separate category making it 50% of the instructions.

The third set is the instructions to the seven churches in Revelation. Two of the seven churches, Pergamum and Thyatira, are chastised for allowing sexual immorality in their midst. The math calculates to 28%.

God’s Big Three set of instructions include anywhere from 25% to 50% of instructions to avoid sexual immorality. On average, nearly a third of God’s instructions concern overcoming sexual sin. God thinks sex is a very big part of life any way you do the math.

And what is God’s only solution to sexual immorality? Well, we took a look at that in a previous post. The short answer is get married and have frequent, reciprocal sex with your spouse!

Bible Thought: God thinks sex is big deal and so should we.

Prayer: Father, you created sex. Help me to put it in proper perspective for my good and your glory. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

Loving the Unlovable Lover

Loving the Unlovable Lover

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.  (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a ESV)

Part 3: CHARACTER – Immaturity embraces wrong thinking (Part 3 of a 3 part series, “3 Enemies of Sex” )

There are 3 Enemies of Sex

The first enemy is absorbing any negative cultural influences that undermine sex. The second is picking up sex-killing religious attitudes from the church. And the third is spiritual and emotional immaturity of either spouse.

Any one of these can kill sex in the best of marriages, and if one or the other spouse, or both, have all three then the end is near. However, we all entered marriage relatively immature, emotionally and spiritually, especially if we married young. There is hope.

God wants us to mature in Christ, discern the negative influences of the culture, and have a sex-positive, non-religious attitude toward sex. This is not done overnight. It takes time and patience but it is possible with God.

The Joy of Growing Old Together

The joy of growing old together is growing in maturity with God and with each other. As we mature, sex improves with our increased maturity. However, some of us never grow up and this is hard on our spouse. We have the choice to grow or not. We are not robots. God gave us free will. Choose to grow.

The Immature Lover

What does an immature lover look like? Well, they exhibit the opposite of the loving attributes in our passage today. An immature lover is impatient, insists on their own way, gives up when the going gets tough, and is often irritable and resentful about sex.

It’s hard to have sex with this person. However, we were this person at one time – or some iteration of them. Maturity is growing, not arriving so be slow to point a finger.

The Mature Lover

What does a mature lover look like? Everything on our list plus the capacity to love the immature lover. This capacity to love the unlovable lover comes from outside ourselves. The Fruit of the Spirit, love, is a by-product of growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ. (See 2 Peter 3:18))

If you married an immature person, and we were all somewhere on the spectrum of immaturity when we married, don’t withhold sex because they are immature but pray for their maturity.

Also, treat your spouse as if they were mature; that is, extend grace to your unlovable lover just as Christ extends grace to us every day, a sinner in need of grace not condemnation.

We have sex with the unlovable lover primarily because we promised to have sex with them the day we got married. A mature person understands the covenant commitment of marriage and their conjugal responsibilities.

What’s love got to do with it? Everything.

Bible Thought: Maturity is extending grace and withholding condemnation.

Prayer: Father, help me to pick up my conjugal responsibilities and lay down any resentment or bitterness toward my spouse. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

The Last Taboo

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Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Romans 12:2 MSG)

Part 2: CHURCH – Sexual Restraint and the Modesty Movement (Part 2 of a 3 part series, “3 Enemies of Sex” )

The Last Taboo

The Last Taboo of the church is sex. We’ve overcome a lot of religion over the years but the denial, obfuscation, and misunderstanding of sex in the church continues. Our book and blog are for the sole purpose of bringing sex out from under the bushel of religion and into the glorious light of the gospel.

Christian Sub-Culture

Christian gnosticism (aka docetism) exalts the spiritual over the physical. This dangerous Christian sub-culture teaches sexual restraint for men and pious modesty for women as the way of holiness in marriage. God thinks differently. Lots of sex with our spouse contributes to our holiness not self restraint. (See “Sex & Sanctification”)

Paul says, “Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking.” This includes the Christian gnostic sub-culture that represses married sex.

Sex, sex, sex, there we’ve said it 3 times and we’re still alive! God did not cringe at our repetition. God is for married sex. He loves sex. God created sex and thinks it’s pretty cool. God uses it to describe the intimacy between Christ and his church. He even declared it, as part of his creation, “Very Good”. (See Genesis 1:31 ESV)

Modesty

The Christian idea of modesty, in the name of saving our lustful brothers in Christ from falling into sexual sin, has taken a left turn. In fact, it is way off the tracks mainly because of a holier-than-thou peer pressure from the church ladies’ fashion brigade. This is nothing less than religion; that is, trying to impress God with our “holiness”. God is not impressed.

Women in church have to fall in line. (Gloria was once accused in church of wearing “hooker shoes”. Seriously.) Let’s let women show their individuality and creativity and not be pressured into drab, gender neutral, uniforms.

Incredibly, Christian modesty promotes the cultural trend of gender neutrality that we looked at in our last post. We have taken on the uniform of sexual sameness in the name of “holiness”. Asexuality is not holy.

There are two problems with excessive modesty. The first is the false idea that we are helping our brothers in Christ avoid sexual sin. This is, at best, false optimism and, at worse, spiritual pride. Immature men will fall no matter what you wear.

The second, and most insidious problem, is when modesty becomes a way of life, when our identity is tied to it. Wrong thinking about modesty will lead to a denial of sensuality if we’re not careful.

Be modest, of course, but be careful that it’s not an excuse to avoid sensuality. It’s hard to shift gears from a pious, modest, asexual Christian in church to an enthusiastic, reciprocal sex partner in the bedroom. God calls us to the latter.

Bible Thought: Religion tries to impress God with sexual restraint in marriage and excessive modesty. God is not impressed.

Prayer: Father, help me to realize that my righteousness is in Christ and that you have made me a sexual creature with legitimate needs and desires. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

Petri Dish for Porn

Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Romans 12:2 MSG)

Authors’ Note: This is not a hysterical critique of the culture, far from it. The culture is what it is. Our job is to try and understand how the culture influences Christian married sex. This post is longer than most.

Part 1: CULTURE – Demonization of Masculinity and Femininity (Part 1 of a 3 part series, “3 Enemies of Sex” )

Our culture is a petri dish for porn. Let us explain.

Dissing Men, Shaming Women

Men are labeled “toxic” by the culture. Men have screwed it up so now it’s time for a change according to many women – and men. This logic is hard to argue with considering the horrific #MeToo stories.

However, men and women, have behaved badly since the Garden and are likely to continue to behave badly until they align themselves with God’s purpose in marriage.

Along with dissing men, the culture shames women who show their femininity. It’s no longer acceptable for women to highlight their natural, physical traits. Women who express sensuality, no matter how slight, are considered traitors to the fight against male toxicity.

The net result of dissing men and shaming women is a move toward gender neutrality where the masculine and feminine merge into a gray-brown ideology of androgyny.

The culture projects that men and women are essentially the same and that gender distinctions are artificial, arbitrary, and a legacy of a misinformed past.

Principle of Separation

God “made them male and female”. Same in value and worth, but distinct, especially physically, for the purpose of finding joy in the difference. God says men and women are as different as day and night and that’s a good thing. Ironically, the closer we make men and women, the farther apart we become.

The creation account highlights the importance of God’s Principle of Separation: heaven and earth, light and dark, day and night, morning and evening, clouds and seas, water and dry land, and male and female. (See Genesis 1:27,28 ESV)

The difference between men and women fuels attraction and arousal in a way androgynous sameness cannot. The less unique, or the more sameness, to put it another way, the less sex and the less satisfying sex.

Paradoxically, the difference God has built into us is the foundation of a “one flesh” marriage. God’s math is 1 Male + 1 Female = 1 Flesh; not 1 Person + 1 Person = 2 People living life together.

Petri Dish for Porn

When we are influenced by the androgyny ideology, not only will our sex be less frequent and less satisfying, we will be intuitively attracted to anyone who displays the separation. The heterosexual porn industry exploits the difference and profits from it.

The perfect petri dish for porn is gender neutrality because it leaves a hunger for the difference. We’re built for difference, or separation, between the sexes. When we think and look alike then attraction fades, sex fades, and marriages dry up.

Pornography appeals to our sexuality of separation and shows us that the difference is exciting. It’s no wonder there is an epidemic of porn.

Disclaimer

We’re not saying women can’t wear pants or that they should compete with porn stars! We are simply saying beware of the influence of the culture that implies men and women are essentially the same. We are not; in fact, we are vastly different.

The Culture and the Bible

God emphasizes the separateness of male and female while the culture emphasizes the sameness. God’s way leads to more frequent sex and more satisfying sex because difference is always more exciting than sameness. We need to first recognize there is a difference then we need to embrace the difference. If you’re a wife then embrace your femininity and if you’re a husband then embrace your masculinity. When we concentrate on our separation, we will become closer.

The culture tells us that gender domination is the cause of all our problems. God tells us sin is the cause of all our problems.

The culture tells us gender neutrality is the solution. God tells us redemption, the forgiveness of sins, through faith in Jesus Christ, is the solution.

Bible Thought: When we understand God’s separation of the sexes and emphasize the difference in our marriages, our sex lives will take on new life.

Prayer: Father, help me to discern the negative influences of the culture in my marriage. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

3 Enemies of Sex

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So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life — your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life — and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him.

Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. (Romans 12:1,2 MSG)

Maturity in Christ

The Message, a paraphrase by Eugene Peterson, captures the essence of this passage. It tells us to do ordinary life God’s way. Whether sleeping, eating, or going to work, do it in a way that honors God. Don’t be overly influenced by the immaturity of the culture but renew your mind, your thinking, according to God’s Word.

We would say this applies to all areas of life including sex. Since this is a devotional on biblical sex, we’ll concentrate on how the culture, both worldly and religious, effects our sex lives.

The goal of God’s will for us is maturity in Christ. We would add that immaturity in Christ makes for a strained sex life. And before we start pointing fingers at our spouse, we need to look at ourselves first.

The opposite is also true though: Maturity in Christ; that is, the ability to understand negative cultural and religious influences, is the beginning of a mature sex life. In other words, grow in Christ and you will experience a more satisfying sex life God’s way.

3 Enemies of Sex

CULTURE – CHURCH – CHARACTER

Paul tells us to recognize the negative influences of the culture, and the church, and that will help us grow in character (or maturity). We’ll summarize the three enemies today and then take a look at each in more detail in subsequent posts.

We will look at the non-biblical ideas from the culture, and the church, that negatively effect our sex lives. We have a choice at this point: Accept the culture or accept God’s Word. Sometimes the culture and the Word fit together but not very often and certainly not when it comes to sex.

Here are the enemies of sex and a quick summary of the negative influences. These influences, if embraced, will kill our sex lives, if we’re not careful. In fact, we would say these wrong ideas are the leading causes of the decline in sex around the world. But that’s for yet another post.

  1. CULTURE – Demonization of masculinity and femininity
  2. CHURCH – Sexual restraint in marriage and the Modesty Movement
  3. CHARACTER – Immaturity embraces wrong thinking

Stay tuned as we dissect the culture, religion, and our character, with the scalpel of the Word. This could be exciting.

Bible Thought: Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking.

Prayer: Father, help me to discern the lies of the culture, and religion, and thereby grow in maturity in Christ. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

MOSTLY Dead Sex Life

Butterfly

I opened to my beloved,

but my beloved had turned and gone.

My soul failed me when he spoke.

I sought him, but found him not;

I called him, but he gave no answer.

The watchmen found me

as they went about in the city;

they beat me, they bruised me,

they took away my veil,

those watchmen of the walls. (Song of Solomon 5:6,7 ESV)

Our last post declared “The Death of Sex” as we know it. We lamented the place of sex in our new cyber society. However, today we are looking at The Death of Sex in our marriages. Sex in your marriage may look dead but it could be only MOSTLY dead.

Miracle Max in “The Princess Bride” stands over an unconscious Westley and pronounces, “He is only MOSTLY dead. Not ALL dead. You can bring them back to life if they are only MOSTLY dead.”

The same could be said of an ailing sex life: If it is not ALL dead there is hope. A MOSTLY dead sex life, can be brought back to life with our desire to change and God’s help. If there is any trace of passion, no matter how small, then there is always hope for more passion.

We tend to think that the lovers in the Song of Solomon experienced endless marital bliss but nothing could be further from the truth. Our lovers started off on fire but hit a dry spell not long after. Our passage is poetic in language but the author’s point is clear that there will be times of sexual estrangement in the best of marriages.

The beloved bride is distraught that she unintentionally rebuffed the sexual attentions of her lover. Her lover runs into the night anxious over his perceived sexual rejection. They are both angry and frustrated with the other. They have hit a dry spell with emotions overflowing into loathing for one another at the perceived slights.

Our author shows us there are consequences to sexual abstinence in our marriages. The beloved wife goes out into the streets looking for her lover only to be used and abused by the watchmen. The husband is nowhere to be found nursing the wounds of rejection and thinking all kinds of negative thoughts.

The good news is that they return to passion in the next chapter having found one another. They seem to have recovered from the rough patch and go on to even greater passion and love.

There are many forces opposed to frequent and reciprocal sex in marriage. There will be times when circumstances, misunderstandings, and negative emotions overwhelm our sex lives. We may loathe one another for a season but we must remember our covenant relationship in Christ and the commitment we made on our wedding day.

Remember the lovers in our poem, if your love is ALMOST dead and not ALL dead then there is hope. It may seem impossible to reignite your sex life but remember what Jesus said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26b) Ask, seek, knock for reconciliation and a revived sex life. God will answer your prayer.

Bible Thought: Even the best of lovers can be derailed for a time but will come back together stronger than ever.

Prayer: Father, help me to understand there will be dry spells in our sex life. Help me to hope in renewal depending on you to revive us in passion as we go to you in prayer. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

The Death of Sex

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Let your fountain be blessed,

    and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

    a lovely deer, a graceful doe.

Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;

    be intoxicated always in her love. (Proverbs 5:15-19 ESV)

Cyber World

U.S. Marriage Rate Hits New Low and May Continue to Decline

The U.S. Fertility Rate Just Hit a Historic Low. Why Some Demographers are Freaking Out

Americans are Having Sex Less Often, New Study Shows

There’s a connection between fewer marriages, fewer babies, and less sex. We’re not sociologists but you don’t have to be one to see sex is heading in the wrong direction. The good news is we’re still having sex, the bad news is the future of sex, as we know it, does not look bright.

In Japan, the most digitally immersed society on the planet, there is phenomenon called The Celibacy Syndrome where young people are opting out of sex altogether and one of the reasons is the easy access to porn. The limited data is inconclusive but the decline in marriages, births, and sex are not. The government admits this could be catastrophic as the population continues to dwindle.

What’s going on? We don’t pretend to know fully but we suspect the further we get from the physical world the less physical we will get with each other.

Physical World

The verse above, “Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight” is hyperbole for the purpose of making a point. The biblical author understood the physical nature of marriage. He wanted to tell his son the only way to avoid sexual temptation – get physical with your wife. As we saw in a previous post this is for husbands and wives alike.

The original audience, both husbands and wives, got the point because they lived in a physical world devoid of digital technology, social media, sedentary jobs, and the stress of modern life.

Their lives consisted of physical activities: animal husbandry, gardening, craftsmanship, hunting and gathering for their daily sustenance. They housed their goats and sheep during the cold months in stables adjacent to their living spaces.

They witnessed the animals mating, defecating, and dying. Their loved ones died in their homes and not in a sanitized hospital. In other words, they lived in the real world, a physical world, a messy world – imperfect but gloriously physical.

They understood the physical nature of life and marriage. Life was physical, marriage was physical. They didn’t Google how to have a great sex life. They just did it.

The further we get from the real, physical world, the less physical sex becomes. Our screens become the substitute reality. Our relationships become “online” while we still live “offline”.

Bible Thought: The further we get from the physical world, the less physical we will get with each other.

Prayer: Father, help me make our marriage more physical more often, reflecting our spiritual oneness in Christ more fully. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

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The Royal Wedding

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The Royal Wedding

And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”  (Revelation 19:9 ESV)

The world was captivated by the Royal wedding this past weekend. It was a dazzling event filled with fanfare and celebrities. We all love weddings, admit it. Weddings fill us with hope and joy.

God loves weddings too! How do we know?

God starts the Bible with a wedding. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)

Jesus’ first miracle was at a wedding. “Jesus also was invited to the wedding with his disciples.” (John 2:2) He attended and saved the day by turning water into wine.

God ends the Bible with a wedding, “The Marriage Supper of the Lamb” where the Bride, the church, will be united to Christ forever in Heaven. “These are the true words of God.” By the way, it’s nice to be invited to a Royal wedding but much better to be invited to this wedding!

What is a wedding? It is the public declaration of love and the beginning of a marriage. And what makes a marriage? As we learned in a previous post, it is the consummation.

A wedding is a vow before the world to love another “in good times and in bad”. The consummation after the wedding vows is the private declaration of love and loyalty. And sex each subsequent time in a marriage renews the wedding vows, the vows of love and loyalty.

Love is a verb. Love by definition requires action. We can say “I love you” but it means nothing until we put our words into action. Sex is the act of love in a marriage.

Taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, taking the kids to soccer practice, doing the laundry, and going on a date are all acts of love however, nothing says, “I love you” louder than sex.

Sex in marriage proves you mean it when you say “I love you”. Love is not cheap. There is always a cost for love. The cost of love in marriage is setting priorities and sticking to them. Sex is the number one priority in marriage by God’s very definition of marriage, “one flesh”.

The public declaration of love in a wedding is made once. The private declaration of love is putting our initial vow of love into action – frequently. Sex is declaring our love over and over and over again.

God loves weddings, the ones on earth between a man and a woman, and the one in the future between Christ and his church. Everyone is invited to the one in Heaven. Have you accepted the invitation?

Bible Thought: A wedding is a public vow of love. Sex is the action behind the vow.

Prayer: Father, help me to remember my public declaration of love with a continual private declaration of love with my spouse. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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7 Lessons from Numbers 25

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7 Lessons from Numbers 25

While Israel lived in Shittim, the people began to whore with the daughters of Moab. These invited the people to the sacrifices of their gods, and the people ate and bowed down to their gods. So Israel yoked himself to Baal of Peor. And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Israel. (Numbers 25:1-3 ESV)

We’re reading through the Bible in a year, something we recommend for everyone. Our first passage today was Numbers 25. It paints a horrific scene where Israel commits sexual immorality with Moabite women who then lead Israel to run after the Moabite god, Baal of Peor. God in his jealousy kills 24,000 Hebrews with a plague and the execution of the guilty leaders. The plague ends when Phinehas, Aaron’s grandson, drives a spear through a Hebrew man and a Midianite woman while engaged in the sex act.

Paul tells us this event is an example for us in 1 Corinthians 10 and Jesus chastises the church at Pergamum for succumbing to the same temptation as the Hebrews at Shittim in Revelation 2. Both suggest that sexual temptation is a primary strategy of the enemy and a doorway to idolatry.

What was the attraction of the Moabite women? What was wrong with the Hebrew women? The Israelite men apparently were mesmerized by the exotic cult sex of Baal of Peor. These foreign women seemed more exciting and enthusiastic than the familiar Hebrew women. The Moabite women promised exotic sexual practices the Hebrew men could not resist.

The modern application is too obvious even to mention. There is nothing new under the sun. Sexual temptation is everywhere and ready to seduce the strongest of us.

What can we learn from this event?

  1. Sexual temptation is more powerful than we are.
  2. Sexual temptation is one of Satan’s main strategies.
  3. The threat of God’s punishment is not enough to keep us from sexual sin.
  4. Exotic, strange sexual partners promise one thing but deliver something else.
  5. Sexual sin often leads to idolatry.
  6. It’s probably good to run from sexual temptation.
  7. Stay at home and rejoice in the wife of your youth.

Paul eases our anxiety by telling us that God has provided a way of escape from every temptation and he will not tempt us beyond our ability to resist. Whew! (See 1 Corinthians 10:13)

God has provided a way of escape from every temptation including sexual temptation.

God’s Word tells us clearly that the only escape from sexual temptation is married sex in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 and then not occasional sex but frequent and reciprocal sex.

Bible Thought: Lots of married sex is God’s way of escape from sexual temptation.

Prayer: Father, help me to overcome sexual temptation by delighting in the the spouse of my youth. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Intoxication

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Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

    a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
(Proverbs 5:18,19 ESV Emphasis added)

There’s is nothing more intoxicating in this life than the anticipation of sex with the one you love. The only thing better is the actual sex. Before you object, think about it. This is just like the God we love and serve. He gave us one another to enjoy and “delight” in. He established marriage to fulfill our longing for excitement, adventure, and intoxication.

Yes, God built into us a need to be “intoxicated”, to get out of the mundane and into a special place, away from it all. His idea was that this place of intoxication would be married sex, a reprieve from the numbing ordinariness of life.

We, of course, like every other gift of God, twist it, turn it, and make it into something else. We fill the need for intoxication with drink, diamonds, pizza, video games, and so much more. God says sex is the best intoxicating experience of your life.

If you look up “intoxicated” or “drunk” in the Bible, the only good references are to sex. Those drunk with anything else, like wine, do not fare well.

You might look at our passage and say that it’s only for the husband. What about the wife? The wife is to get intoxicated also, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine;” (Song of Solomon 1:2 ESV) or “Eat, friends, drink, and be drunk with love!” (5:1b)

God wants your spouse to be the most exciting person in the world to you. We understand that “familiarity breeds contempt” and the spouse of your youth may have faded over the years. But God tells us that this does not need to be the case. The Bible tells us to be intoxicated with the wife or husband of our youth. Our intoxicating love does not need to fade. It’s our choice.

Bible Thought: Married sex with the spouse of your youth should continue to be intoxicating as the years go by.

Prayer: Father, help me to overcome my familiarity with my spouse and once again become intoxicated with their love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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