Attitude is Everything

Attitude is Everything

The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s.
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
(Song of Solomon 1:1,2a ESV)

The first thing we notice in this love poem is the wife’s enthusiasm for her husband. She is on fire for his love! She can’t seem to contain her excitement for his perfect kisses, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!”. Her attitude springs from sex-positive thoughts about her husband.

Attitude is Everything

William James, the 19th century American philosopher stated, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.” Attitude is everything. As Christians, we can state with confidence that the closer our attitudes align with God’s attitudes the more joyful we will be in this life. In fact, our attitude largely determines what we get from this life. Let’s take on God’s attitude about everything especially marital intimacy.

If your attitude is sex-positive then you’re on your way to enjoying sexual intimacy, and if your spouse’s attitude is sex-positive, then you both can celebrate God’s gift of sex equally. However, if your attitude, or your spouse’s attitude, is otherwise then there’s a lot of work to do. But it’s worth the effort to align your attitude with God’s attitude toward marital sex.

3 Sex-Positive Attitudes

Three things stand out to us in this passage:

  1. She is the aggressor. This woman is no wilting flower waiting for her husband to make the first move. She knows her joy is in the arms of her husband and she is determined to make it happen – the sooner the better.
  2. She is enthusiastic. Our protagonist is so excited about his kisses she doesn’t seem to care what people might think as she declares before the world that her lover is a good kisser.
  3. She is thankful. She seems extremely thankful for her husband. She is confident that her husband wants to reciprocate her affection. She isn’t afraid of his rejection; in fact, it apparently never even enters her mind.

The Reality

This love poem, and poetry in general, uses figurative language to express emotion, truth, and beauty. The Song of Songs paints us a picture of an ideal biblical marriage. We will see later in the poem that everything is not bliss. Our lovers have a Big Misunderstanding in chapter 5 and have to overcome a common marital misconception about sex. Don’t worry, we will get to this reality of married life, but for now let’s enjoy the enthusiasm of our protagonist and smile that she loves to kiss.

Do you love to kiss? Change your attitude about kissing and see how kissing is better than you remembered. Go ahead, try it 🙂

Bible Thought: God’s Word celebrates sexual intimacy, including great kissing, in marriage.

Prayer: Father, help me to change my attitude toward kissing and align myself with God’s attitude toward sexual intimacy. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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Just do it,

Rene & Gloria


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Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

    a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
(Proverbs 5:18,19 ESV Emphasis added)

There’s is nothing more intoxicating in this life than the anticipation of sex with the one you love. The only thing better is the actual sex. Before you object, think about it. This is just like the God we love and serve. He gave us one another to enjoy and “delight” in. He established marriage to fulfill our longing for excitement, adventure, and intoxication.

Yes, God built into us a need to be “intoxicated”, to get out of the mundane and into a special place, away from it all. His idea was that this place of intoxication would be married sex, a reprieve from the numbing ordinariness of life.

We, of course, like every other gift of God, twist it, turn it, and make it into something else. We fill the need for intoxication with drink, diamonds, pizza, video games, and so much more. God says sex is the best intoxicating experience of your life.

If you look up “intoxicated” or “drunk” in the Bible, the only good references are to sex. Those drunk with anything else, like wine, do not fare well.

You might look at our passage and say that it’s only for the husband. What about the wife? The wife is to get intoxicated also, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine;” (Song of Solomon 1:2 ESV) or “Eat, friends, drink, and be drunk with love!” (5:1b)

God wants your spouse to be the most exciting person in the world to you. We understand that “familiarity breeds contempt” and the spouse of your youth may have faded over the years. But God tells us that this does not need to be the case. The Bible tells us to be intoxicated with the wife or husband of our youth. Our intoxicating love does not need to fade. It’s our choice.

Bible Thought: Married sex with the spouse of your youth should continue to be intoxicating as the years go by.

Prayer: Father, help me to overcome my familiarity with my spouse and once again become intoxicated with their love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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