The Death of Sex

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Let your fountain be blessed,

    and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

    a lovely deer, a graceful doe.

Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;

    be intoxicated always in her love. (Proverbs 5:15-19 ESV)

Cyber World

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There’s a connection between fewer marriages, fewer babies, and less sex. We’re not sociologists but you don’t have to be one to see sex is heading in the wrong direction. The good news is we’re still having sex, the bad news is the future of sex, as we know it, does not look bright.

In Japan, the most digitally immersed society on the planet, there is phenomenon called The Celibacy Syndrome where young people are opting out of sex altogether and one of the reasons is the easy access to porn. The limited data is inconclusive but the decline in marriages, births, and sex are not. The government admits this could be catastrophic as the population continues to dwindle.

What’s going on? We don’t pretend to know fully but we suspect the further we get from the physical world the less physical we will get with each other.

Physical World

The verse above, “Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight” is hyperbole for the purpose of making a point. The biblical author understood the physical nature of marriage. He wanted to tell his son the only way to avoid sexual temptation – get physical with your wife. As we saw in a previous post this is for husbands and wives alike.

The original audience, both husbands and wives, got the point because they lived in a physical world devoid of digital technology, social media, sedentary jobs, and the stress of modern life.

Their lives consisted of physical activities: animal husbandry, gardening, craftsmanship, hunting and gathering for their daily sustenance. They housed their goats and sheep during the cold months in stables adjacent to their living spaces.

They witnessed the animals mating, defecating, and dying. Their loved ones died in their homes and not in a sanitized hospital. In other words, they lived in the real world, a physical world, a messy world – imperfect but gloriously physical.

They understood the physical nature of life and marriage. Life was physical, marriage was physical. They didn’t Google how to have a great sex life. They just did it.

The further we get from the real, physical world, the less physical sex becomes. Our screens become the substitute reality. Our relationships become “online” while we still live “offline”.

Bible Thought: The further we get from the physical world, the less physical we will get with each other.

Prayer: Father, help me make our marriage more physical more often, reflecting our spiritual oneness in Christ more fully. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Just do it,

Rene & Gloria

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Intoxication

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Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,

    a lovely deer, a graceful doe.
Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight;
be intoxicated always in her love.
(Proverbs 5:18,19 ESV Emphasis added)

There’s is nothing more intoxicating in this life than the anticipation of sex with the one you love. The only thing better is the actual sex. Before you object, think about it. This is just like the God we love and serve. He gave us one another to enjoy and “delight” in. He established marriage to fulfill our longing for excitement, adventure, and intoxication.

Yes, God built into us a need to be “intoxicated”, to get out of the mundane and into a special place, away from it all. His idea was that this place of intoxication would be married sex, a reprieve from the numbing ordinariness of life.

We, of course, like every other gift of God, twist it, turn it, and make it into something else. We fill the need for intoxication with drink, diamonds, pizza, video games, and so much more. God says sex is the best intoxicating experience of your life.

If you look up “intoxicated” or “drunk” in the Bible, the only good references are to sex. Those drunk with anything else, like wine, do not fare well.

You might look at our passage and say that it’s only for the husband. What about the wife? The wife is to get intoxicated also, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine;” (Song of Solomon 1:2 ESV) or “Eat, friends, drink, and be drunk with love!” (5:1b)

God wants your spouse to be the most exciting person in the world to you. We understand that “familiarity breeds contempt” and the spouse of your youth may have faded over the years. But God tells us that this does not need to be the case. The Bible tells us to be intoxicated with the wife or husband of our youth. Our intoxicating love does not need to fade. It’s our choice.

Bible Thought: Married sex with the spouse of your youth should continue to be intoxicating as the years go by.

Prayer: Father, help me to overcome my familiarity with my spouse and once again become intoxicated with their love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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