I am my beloved’s,
and his desire is for me.
(Song of Solomon 7:10 ESV)
God is a Jealous God
God is a jealous God and wants our attention. He doesn’t demand our attention although he is the only one worthy of all our attention. He is altogether lovely, his excellencies are unlimited, his beauty is fathomless, and he is the only one worthy of all honor and praise.
We have free will so he doesn’t demand our attention but it would do us well to give him the attention he deserves. It is for our benefit; after all, he doesn’t need our attention but knows it is the best thing we can do for ourselves.
God notices when we give him attention in worship, prayer, and communion. Our attention turns to affection as we see him for who he is even in our limited capacity to comprehended infinite love.
Your Spouse is a Jealous Spouse
Your spouse has every right to be jealous of anything you value more than them in this world. When you got married, you promised your spouse that they would be the most important thing in your life, to cherish and nourish ’till death do you part.
Pauls tells husbands, after giving God the attention he deserves, the best thing you can do for yourself is give your wife your full attention and affection. After all, you pamper yourself, so pamper your wife! It’s actually the same thing.
In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28,29)
When a husband’s attention is divided, his wife will feel less valued than whatever gets most of his attention. Most of us have jobs to go to, activities we enjoy, and duties to perform but your wife should feel she is the greatest treasure in your life.
Likewise the wife should make her husband feel he is the most important person besides Christ in her life. When this full attention is flowing both ways then you have the beginnings of a solid, biblical marriage. Give one another the attention they deserve and promised when you got married. Divided attention, divides marriages.
His Desire is for Me
Our Song of Solomon passage paints the picture of a satisfied wife, one who knows that her husband desires her more than anything in this world. “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.”
She is confident in his undivided attention and responds with frequent and reciprocal sex as we see throughout the book of Song of Solomon.
Of course, the principles are the same for the wife. Anything that draws your main attention away from your husband leaves your husband feeling disrespected, devalued.
Sex is the One Constant, Everything Else is Variable
We understand that there are ups an downs in marriage and that attention to your spouse, and from your spouse, waxes and wanes depending on the season of life or circumstances. However, there is one constant in a marriage and everything else is variable. Houses, jobs, friends, hobbies, health, memory, and everything else come and go but sexual intimacy should not come and go. It should be the anchor, the one constant, that steadies the storms of life in your marriage.
Sexual intimacy is the one constant in marriage and, ultimately, the barometer of attention and affection.
Bible Thought: Jesus is our spiritual Anchor. Sexual intimacy is our marital anchor.
Prayer: Father, help me to value, respect and put my spouse first after you. Amen.
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Just do it,
Rene & Gloria