An Inconvenient Truth
The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. (1 Corinthians 7:3,4 ESV)
A refugee coming to America after escaping a war torn country observed that Americans’ greatest fear is being inconvenienced. God’s Word is more often than not going to be inconvenient. “Go and make disciples of all nations.” Inconvenient, Lord!
Paul tells married people in these verses to prepare to be inconvenienced. He leaves no wiggle room to get out of sex. Your spouse has the right to sex whenever they want it and, oh, by the way you don’t have authority over your body, your spouse does. Later in the passage he tells us the only time not to have sex is for a special time of prayer. Paul triple downs on frequent sex in marriage. He boxes us in with no way out. How inconvenient, Paul.
We love sex on cruises, in hotel rooms while on vacation, and sex when we want it. But sex whenever my spouse wants it, in everyday life, well, it’s inconvenient and unreasonable.
What about negotiations? What if I’m not in the mood? Or exhausted? Or had a bad day? Paul says too bad so sad. Sex is sometimes going to be inconvenient.
Wait a minute! Hold on! This sounds like sex on-demand.
“Sex on-demand” is like the sound of finger nails dragging across a chalk board to our postmodern ears. We are free, autonomous people after all. God says you were free and autonomous; that is, before you got married.
Paul’s not talking about bullying, coercion, or abuse. It’s estimated that 25% of married Christians are in abusive situations. If this is you then get help. Be safe. We’re talking to the other 75% of Christian marriages who want their marriages to reflect God’s will.
Biblical married sex is not natural, it is supernatural. We need God’s help to do married sex his way. God wants to bring us out of our self-focused world of sin and into an other-focused world of love. Marriage apparently is one of the best way to learn how to really love. Applying the truth of married sex will be inconvenient but full of blessings.
Bible Thought: Our spouse’s conjugal right is God’s way of turning us from ourselves to another, our spouse, in married love.
Prayer: Father, help me to respect and love my spouse in Christ. I acknowledge I need your help in this. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
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